White tie is the fanciest of the fancy. This means your fiance is going to have to wear not just a tuxedo, but a tuxeo with tails. Think royal ball - which is absolutely insane for most people to require unles they're uber rich. Here's some info: [https://www.paperlesspost.com/blog/dress-code-guest-attire-guide/](https://www.paperlesspost.com/blog/dress-code-guest-attire-guide/)
So I would double and triple check if the bride and groom really want white tie because that will make things a lot more complicated if it's white tie. Black tie will give you more options, but not much - and the dresses you showed here are not black tie either. More natural fiber dresses that meet these two dress codes tend to be very pricey, which is why I don't understand why people have weddings with this requirement (especially since the events usually aren't as formal as the dress code).
You may want to look into renting a dress instead.
But honestly - I'd wait until the invites are out because what I've read in some of your comments, I can't believe they're saying this is white tie or even black tie for that matter.
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In your edits and comments you mentioned that your cousin is very religious and that you are expecting a baby (congratulations) but have never been married (do I have that right)? Is it possible this is the issue? It obviously should not be but some people…
I personally would not go, although with two large celebrations I had (not weddings) I did screw up the excel sheet I gave to the calligrapher and accidentally deleted one person each time. In one case it was a distant relative’s of DH’s that I did not care about (although I apologized and did send her an invite when it was brought to my attention), the other was a reasonably close friend that in no way did I mean to exclude. A mutual friend called me and mentioned that L had not received an invitation. When I checked the list I had deleted her accidentally. I called her immediately and explained.
If there is a relative that wants to get involved, they can call the bride and say Knuds1b never got their invitation? At least it will shut them up if the bride says yes I did not invite her, and at that point the family will be talking about her
Years ago, I had a new friend, she was having a 40th birthday party. I thought I was not invited even though another mutual friend who was also new to her was. I was fine. The invitation arrived three weeks late, the day after the event. I really wish to this day she had called me. The invitation was postmarked the same day as my friend’s it was just a glitch. She is gone now which is one reason I regret not being at the party. FF to a few months ago, her daughter was pregnant and was having a shower. I had no idea. A week before the shower the daughter texts me, asks me if I am coming? I said to what? Turns out she had left out a letter on my email so the Paperlesspost never got to me and it is possible the person who has the email (I once emailed him, its a real person that I don’t know, I forget why we exchanged emails a few years ago) probably did open it. I was very happy to attend the shower!
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